Tuesday, May 01, 2007

The Wrong College?

And now for something entirely different.

Later this week, I'm doing a sort of after-dinner speech for high school seniors and their families. Thought I might start out with "Top Ten Signs You've Chosen the Wrong College."

Letterman did one of these years ago. It's on-line and I can use most of them. But I want to fill in the blanks. Any nominations? Again, the category is: "Top Ten Signs You've Chosen the Wrong College" . . . .


Matt said...

You notice a sign in front of a large building that reads, "White Cafeteria." That actually happened at Harding. I was sitting by the window in the cafeteria and these workers came and dug a hole and put a sign that said exactly that. I nearly had Luck Charm laced milk coming out my ears. It didn't last a day and the next day had some clarification by reading, "Charles White Cafeteria." Now that makes more sense. I sure was glad it wasn't a day high school students were visiting.

Frank Bellizzi said...

That's a good one. I think the best way to make sure that your name will live in infamy is to have it put on a college cafeteria.

Dee O'Neil Andrews said...

Here's one:

You know you've picked the wrong college if the dorms all have suites so that parents can come stay close to their kids when they visit on campus. Weekends together in the dorm suites are encouraged.


You know you've picked the wrong college if the campus center's large computer room only has ultra slow telephone landlines as its internet connectors.


You know you've picked the wrong college if the only college campus holidays are three days for Christmas break and two days for official Spring break that coincides with Mother's Day.

That's it for now. All I can think of.

Cheers! & Blessings to you all today! Dee

Frank Bellizzi said...

Nice, Dee. I suspect you can relate to all of these? In one way or another.

Steve Duer said...

You know you have chosen the wrong college when there is a plasma donation option of tuition payment.

Matt said...

I know one young lady who was recently visiting a college campus that has those help call boxes. The tour guide was demonstrating to the students that if you pick up the phone, help will be there within two minutes. During that speech, one of the visiting students passed out due to heat. The tour guide used the call box for help and it took nearly 10 minutes for help to arrive. That doesn't come across very well. Not sure how to word that into something short and catchy but certainly not a good sign.